Be Happy In Your Skin
If you’re in the middle of a divorce or breakup, this might sound familiar to you. Are you often tired? Are you continuously angry, anxious, depressed, or extremely emotional? Do you lose stuff, or struggle to remember even simple things? Do you often take pills to make you feel better or help you sleep? Do you spend hours on the couch watching television to “numb out,” or wander around your house like a zombie for hours? If so, your body is probably sending you messages asking for more loving care. If you are in physical pain, it’s literally screaming for attention.
One of the most important tools for creating a positive separation is one that’s totally under-utilized. It’s caring for your body! Your body is your best friend right now. It gives you power, energy, and structure so your mind can focus on daily tasks and your goals for a new, happy future.
Your body is participating
If you don’t give your body what it needs to function properly during this period of your life, you will not make the right choices and decisions. Prolonged stress―like that generated by a separation―almost always creates a downward spiral for both body and mind. You lose motivation, you can’t concentrate, and your immune system becomes weaker.
If you pay conscious attention to your body starting right now, today, and every day going forward, you will feel better within a few weeks, and be much better equipped to tackle the daily tasks of your breakup and life.
A healthy and strong body draws you through it
If you understand that your body carries you through your life, you will also understand that your body will carry you through your breakup or divorce. When you take care of your body, even challenging mental and emotional tasks will feel less daunting. You’ll be better able to process stress, release tension, and work through negative emotions.
Make a simple boost plan
If you invest in your body, your body invests in you! This does not mean that you can only eat lettuce, or that you need to spend every day at the gym, but you need to make a plan of action to care for yourself consistently, every day. This could be as simple as scheduling a 30-minute walk every morning, going to bed earlier, cooking homemade meals, or committing to watch only one hour of television per day.
Below are some activities that are easy to start with and that provide your body with what it needs to support you in your daily life.
Eat regularly and healthily. Your body needs “real” food more than ever. How can you clean up your diet and eat three regular meals every day?
Make sure you sleep well. Stop using electronic devices at least two hours before going to sleep. That means no phone, laptop, television, games, or other distractions. Keep your phone, tablet, and laptop across the bedroom from where you sleep, or in another room altogether.
Exercise regularly. Making conscious plans to move every day gives your life rhythm and structure. Playing sports also gives you a chance to meet others and have a good time while you sweat.
Seek out professional help. Work with your doctor, a trainer, a physical therapist, or other professionals to keep your body healthy and fit. Preventing damage is vital now since your body is dealing with extra stress and strain.
So, get out your notebook and start making plans to support and embrace your body as you go through your separation. Your body will thank you―and so will your happy, healthy future self!
Choose a Star Action as a
Gift to Yourself Today!
The Star Actions are part of my Positive Separation Method and give you a positive boost in the direction of happiness. You can learn more about Star Actions in this post.
Give yourself a “boost day.” Take a long shower, wash your hair, and put on your finest and most beautiful clothes to take a stroll through the city or park―by yourself, or with a friend. Buy a bunch of flowers. Lie down on the couch with your favorite magazine and a cup of coffee or tea. Be the best version of yourself all day, and enjoy the pampering!
Stop talking so much about your breakup. Talk only to people who lift you up, instead of those who dig into the drama. When you do speak about your breakup (unless it’s to your professional therapist or best friend), try to limit the conversation to fifteen minutes; then, move on to another topic. Do this for two weeks, and see how you feel.
Laugh and have fun. More than just about anything else, laughter reduces your stress and tension. Occasionally, being naughty is better than the very best multivitamin. Plan at least one “Funday” within the next month.
Eveline Jurry is the creator of the Positive Separation Method™ and the author of three books, including ‘Happy Again! The Art of Positive Separation’. From her home base in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, she teaches people how to create a happy future during and after divorce or separation.